Personal Perspective: I am NOT a Square!

Personal Perspective:
I am NOT a Square!

Elliot Reid

Do I have your attention yet? Not that attention is what I’m after, or perhaps it is.  Not in the typical sense.  Before this becomes too much of an incoherent babbling of utter nonsense, where I try to convince you why I’m not an attention seeking square, let me tell you what I mean.  When you think of the word “square” in relation to a person, what is the first thing you think of?  Is it the cult classic pop culture reference of an “L” “7” weenie from The Sandlot?  Is it the common depiction of one who is often considered nerdy or a geek? To ease your mind, it is none of the above.

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The Gender Identity Lexicon

The most recent issue of Oasis News shined the spotlight on gender identity and transgender awareness. Our therapists felt it was important to provide readers with useful knowledge, unique perspectives, and helpful resources on transgender and gender identity issues.  Whether a family member is transitioning, you have a friend who has gender identity issues, or you just want more information on the topic, we hope you find this information useful.  

The Gender Identity Lexicon
Nicole Friedman, Psy.D., CEDS

Language is a powerful tool that shapes our perceptions and significantly impacts the lens through which we interpret events in our world. Precise use of language, which is constantly changing, can demystify misperceptions about gender.  While this list is certainly not all inclusive, it begins to provide a basic understanding to facilitate more understanding and dialogue.

Agender: A newer term describing individuals who do not have a gender and/or have a gender that they describe as neutral.

Bigender: Refers to those individuals that identify as having two genders.

Cisgender: People whose sex assignment is congruent with their gender identity and expression.

Gender: Is a term wherein society deems someone as either male or female. Gender is socially constructed and not necessarily the same as one’s biological sex.

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Peaceful Eating: Creating Calm Throughout the Holidays

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Christie Caggiani, RDN, LDN, CEDRD

We have arrived at holiday season. Here we are.

Breathe.

This time of year is fraught with crazy busy schedules, high expectations, traditions, emotions, exhaustion….and food is often central to all of it. But does food need to add more confusion, or can it actually help us create some peace, balance and sanity during this festive time?

It is my belief and experience as a nutrition therapist that we often interact with and respond to food as a reflection of the way we “do life”. So if food is our Life on a Plate, then it’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed with food choices when we enter this intense, calendar-packed time of the year. Can we celebrate, be fulfilled and feel joy – both with food and our holiday experiences?

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Detachment in Love

“In true love, you attain freedom.  When you love, you bring freedom to the person you love.  If the opposite is true, it is not true love.” 

Thich Nhat Hanh, True Love

unnamedIt’s no secret that romantic relationships are complicated.  So many of us strive for perfect relationships based on unrealistic standards, or love out of familiar family patterns.  We may find ourselves feeling stuck in our relationships – mindlessly living day by day in unhappiness or feeling trapped by our partner’s expectations.  With so much relationship advice floating around, how do we find the right tools to cultivate true love in our own lives?

When clients seek me out for relationship guidance, I explain attachment versus detachment.  In unhealthy relationships, partners are attached to each other.  Partners may be unclear as to what keeps them connected, and might be fearful, jealous, or afraid of being alone.  Symptoms might include constant bickering, insecurity, or jealously.  Partners may attempt to regulate each other, or project issues onto their partner.  Codependency may be the foundation of the relationship.

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Meditation on College Campuses

Asia Adams, Staff Writer

Take projects, presentations, term papers and exams, throw in a job, and then add family and social life to the equation, and you have a recipe for lots of stress. I know – I was there over a year and half ago! With an increasing number of demands on college students, it’s no wonder many of them are seeking ways to reduce the harmful effects of stress on both mind and body.

Putting aside a little bit of quiet time each week to recharge and focus on something other than schoolwork is important, and this is where meditation comes in. It’s free, can be done virtually anywhere, anytime, and is highly effective. What more could a college student want from a practice?

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A Therapist with HEArt

Sara Goldstein, Staff Writer

On most days, Clara Bossie can be found tucked away in her office at Therapeutic Oasis of the Palm Beaches.  It isn’t your typical office though.  Clara’s workspace reflects her personality, which is best described as waggish.  The seven to nine clients she sees daily often are seen in Clara’s art studio, where any supply ranging from glitter to buttons can be found.  There is a mindfulness corner adorned with soft, fluffy pillows and Beanie Babies.  Her bookshelves are adorned with children’s books and a portrait of Clara’s mini toy schnauzer, Julz, who also puts in as much time in the office as her owner.

Clara Talking
Clara Bossie, LMFT, speaks with HEArt Show supporters.

It is hard to imagine that a busy professional with a full workload could possibly coordinate an annual fundraising event without the help of paid professionals.  Yet, Ms. Bossie has managed to do so for the past four years.  The soft-spoken therapist is very clear on her ambitious goals, which include growing the HEArt (Healing Through Expressive Arts) Show, creating a “Tri-Chillin” event (a triathlon for relaxation junkies), and eventually running as mayor for the city of Delray Beach.  Coming from someone else, these goals would appear to be a farce.  However, those that know Clara are well aware of the force behind this educator, therapist, and artist.

This year’s HEArt Show: “A Hollywood Story”, sponsored by Art for Alzheimer’s, took place on Friday, February 5, 2016, benefitting the Louis & Anne Green Memory and Wellness Center of the Christine E. Lynn College of Nursing at Florida Atlantic University.  The HEArt Show’s mission is to promote awareness of the healing power of expressive arts and to raise funds for organizations that utilize art in the healing process.  In other words, the show reflects Clara’s unique background, aiming to teach, help, and encourage others to embrace creativity.

The red carpet was unrolled for the evening’s guests, who entered the transformed space of the Memory and Wellness Center.  Pop up installations displayed pieces from professional and amateur artists.  Featured artists included Salvatore Principe, Brendan Murphy, Charles Edward Soto, Amanda Johnson, Ona Steele, Pat Kaufman, and Bobby Grossman.  Attendees sampled culinary delights provided by Silver Sac Catering and Saltwater Brewery against a backdrop of live music.

In addition to the art display, the HEArt Show invited everyone to create his or her own art in the community art studio.  No surprise that the most popular subject of the evening were hearts!  Live artists included Tatiana Farkas, Matthew Guhl, Joshua Isla, and Lori Practico from Girl Noticed, who created a one-of-a-kind piece for the dedicated volunteers of the HEArt Show. 

Special guests of the evening included Louis & Anne Green, Jan Savarick, Dr. María Ordóñez, Dr. Benjamin Bensadon, Dr. Marlaine C. Smith, Dr. Lynne Dunphy, Dr. Priti Kothari, and Patricia Thomas.  Nearly 225 guests came out to support the HEArt Show and $14,500 was raised for the Louis & Anne Green Memory and Wellness Center.  As for Clara, she is already busy planning next year’s show. Bossie is dedicated to spreading the belief that “…the creative self is the healthiest self” – she is an unstoppable force for good.

For more information and event highlights, please visit HEArtshow.org.

Students Receive Tips on Fueling Their Creative Selves

Students in grades 3-12 gathered in West Palm Beach on Saturday, October 24, participating in the year-round enrichment programs offered through the Kravis Center.   Underwritten by the Lawrence J. and Florence A. De George Charitable Trust, the De George Academy for Performing Arts provides instruction and coaching to economically disadvantaged youth interested in the performing arts.  Through these ongoing programs, students learn necessary tools and strategies that enrich their creative lives.

Christie Caggiani, RDN, LDN, CEDRD, understands how good nutrition helps students achieve goals.  Christie’s presentation, “Fueling Your Creative Self: Simple Strategies for Super Students”, emphasized the connection between regular, balanced meals fueling creative endeavors.  Children eagerly listened on as Christie shared important tips that included:

  • Always eat breakfast!
  • Don’t skip meals. 
  • • Have grains, protein, and color at all meals.
  • • Eat when you’re hungry, stop when just right.
  • • Have Growing Foods (whole grains, fruits & veggies, dairy, nuts, protein) for a sharp brain & body, and include Sometimes Foods (candy, desserts, sweets)
  • Enjoy your food and let creativity shine!

Wishing the best to these budding super stars!

Early Morning Movement by Anni Johnston, MS, LMHC, BC-DMT

Anni Johnston1

Our lives can be so busy that we can burst past opportunities to enjoy the “slow moments” of our lives.  The first moments upon waking are such an opportunity.  Rather than jump out of bed and get moving straight away, why not try the following body-focused techniques to promote greater peace, gratitude, and centeredness in your day.  Done together or as you please on a daily basis, it can change the way you relate to loved ones, your work, and yourself.

First thing even before opening your eyes, try taking a few moments to place your hands upon your uppper chest and notice your beating heart and moving lungs.  This is a way to connect to the wisdom that pulses through you all day, every day.  Before moving your hands, try focusing on those things for which you feel gratitude, big or small, and allow this sense of gratitude to permeate your chest.  The same approach can be taken with the diaphragm (the soft area just below your rib cage).  Let your hands rest very gently here and notice the ease at which your breath moves through your body.  A beautiful meditation option is to bring into focus small ways in which you have received gifts, support, or unexpected good events.

You can take the time to do some simple stretches even before you leave the bed.  Of course if you still have a sleeping spouse or partner, you might choose to do these on a carpet, but if you’re able, it can feel quite luxurious to stretch while still cozy in bed!  Here are some ideas – pick one or two, or do the whole sequence:

• Circle your feet, first in one direction, then in the other.  Repeat this with your hands.

• Stretch your arms above your head while simultaneously stretching your feet away from your hips. Hold this for a few moments, then repeat.

• Let your head turn all the way to the right, then extend the left arm at an angle away from the shoulder joint.  Repeat on the other side.

• Bring your knees up into a tent position; let them fall to the right and then twist the upper torso to the left.  Hold this for a few moments.  Repeat on the other side.

• Prop your upper torso up upon your elbows and let your head hang backwards while opening up your chest, follow this with laying flat again and curling your knees into your chest.

• End with some invigorating breaths such as “breath of fire”.  While keeping your mouth closed, breathe deeply and vigorously, emphasizing the navel contracting strongly towards the spine.  15-25 is plenty to energize you, but you may add another sequence if you are feeling sluggish.

These are some simple suggestions for interjecting new ways for self-care.  As always, honor the limits of the body and approach these as gifts you can give yourself.  Enjoy!

Introducing CALM: Stress Reduction & Mindfulness for Teens

Shutt Fav Headshot (1)Modern life has many amenitites that simplify and automate our lives; however, daily demands continue to grow rapidly.  Technological advances streamline tasks while simultaneously keep us connected to social media, news, and email.  We have at our fingertips the ability to reap the benefits of a less stressful lifestyle, but we often pursue the path of more rather than less.  Besides the obvious negative impact on our own health, modeling this more and more lifestyle has consquenses for our children as well.  (Don’t worry! Nonjudgment…I’ve made many of these choices too.) Recognizing stress motivates us parents to incorporate stress reduction practices into our own lives.  How do we then identify and incorporate stress reduction into the lives of our children?

Some stress is part of everday living.  In teenagers, many stressful life expereinces are often part of the norm.  Mild stress can be helpful to motivate one to complete difficult taks and reach important goals.  However, excessive and/or chronic stress in teens may result in a downward spiral of emotional and physical problems.  Common signs of stress in teens include:

Difficulty sleeping

Changes in appetite (too much or too little)

Excessive worry thoughts

Avoidance of social situations and activities

Frequent illness

Headaches and stomachaches

Extreme anger or sadness (reacts or overreacts)

Substance abuse

Parents who have identified stress related symptoms, anxiety, or depression in their child or adolescent might have already sought psychotherapy treatment. In addition to therapy, research has demonstrated that mindfulness is an effective tool for reducing stress, offering teens a way out of suffering and reducing risk to complications that arise from untreated anxiety and depression (including dropping out of school, addiction, and suicide).  Mindfulness can also help with the everyday challenges of being a teen, such as college testing and applications, homework, extracurricular activities and social relationships.  Offering teens an alternative way of building stress resiliency before they breakdown can be an excellent preventative medicine tool.  Some tips to incorporate mindfulness into your teen’s life include:

1. Disconnect!  Even if it is only for 20 minutes, remind your teen that downtime is important.  Turn off the technology and focus on breathing.  Breathe in a full breath (fuller than usual) and very slowly exhale, feeling the sensations of letting go.  With each exhale, there is a softening of the body.  Repeat.

2. Naming. When you are stressed, take time to pause, identify and name your emotions and thoughts.  Ask yourself, “Is this really true?”  Check the facts and see if there are any exaggeration of thoughts or catastrophic beliefs.  What can you realistically do about it now?  If nothing else, practice letting go.  Reframe by thinking, “I am feeling stressed about _____ and I intend to do _______ about it, or I am going to let this go for now.

3. If your mind is racing and overwhelmed with too many thoughts, STOP.  Stop everying.  Take a deep breath, Observe your breath, Proceed mindfully with just one thought.

Utilizing these easy tools now will provide teens with a lifetime of healthy coping mechanisms.  To advance your teen’s mindfulness knowledge even further, learn more about CALM: Teen Mindfulness Workshop at Sacred Treehouse.  This workshop will teach teens techniques to help cultivate acceptance and live mindfully.  Classes will include gentle yoga and stretching, mindful meditation, group discussion, and self-reflection activities. 

Wishing you and your children health, joy, and peace. 

– Dr. Patty Shutt

CALM: Teen Mindfulness Workshop will begin on Saturday, October 24th, 3:30-5:00 p.m.  For more information, please call 561-278-6033.

Got FATTITUDE?

In May, Team Oasis had the pleasure of meeting Lindsey Averill, feminist activist, scholar, and filmmaker.  Averill, a PhD candidate at Florida Atlantic University, is currently working on her first documentary.  Fattitude explores representations of overweight people in popular culture, which often include unflattering stereotypes, discrimination, and ridicule. Through interviews with scholars and activists, Fattitude reveals to viewers that every body is worthy of love, pleasure, and acceptance.

Ms. Averill shared the Fattitude trailer, as well as unreleased clips.  After viewing, we spoke passionately about the objectification of women’s bodies, the false correlation between thinness and health, and even fatkinis.  It was evident to all in attendance that cultural perceptions of body image need to be examined and discussed openly, regardless of the reactions of others.

Fattitude is an ambitious project currently in its post-production stages.  Fundraising efforts have already generated over $44,000; however, costs have proven to be higher than anticipated.  Here is what we ask of you:

  1. View the trailer at:  http://www.fattitudethemovie.com/
  2. Help spread the word!  Discuss Fattitude with friends, family, and co-workers.
  3. Follow Fattitude on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
  4. If you feel compelled to give, make a tax-deductible donation.

Just this past weekend, body shaming made national news.  We cannot wait for Fattitude to change minds and hearts.  What are your thoughts?